


Beyond Mythos Cafe

by starwhale97



Category: osiris - Fandom, poseidon - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 13:50:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2390639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwhale97/pseuds/starwhale97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poseidon wants to take their relationship to the next level, but Osiris has a dark secret that could prevent this from happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beyond Mythos Cafe

Osiris sat alone on the sofa in his apartment, anxiously awaiting the arrival of his boyfriend Poseidon.  The two had been dating for more than two months now and were becoming quite the power couple among gods.  Some of the Greek ones had been scorning Poseidon for pursuing a non-Greek relationship, but the Egyptian pantheon had been relatively accepting.  Everything had been going so great until the night before.  

They were at Mythos Cafe, their usual hangout, and it was past closing time.  Everyone had left and Poseidon was to lock up.  “Lock up” to him, of course, meant “alone time to flirt with and kiss Osiris”, which is exactly what he ended up doing.  When Osiris was about to head home, Poseidon suggested that they take their relationship to the next level.  Upon hearing this, Osiris’ green skin turned almost white.  Almost.  It was still rather icky looking.  Actually, him being pale was a sickening sight that really ought to have to turned off his boyfriend.  It didn’t, for whatever reason.  Anyway, Osiris panicked and ran away, leaving Poseidon by himself at the cafe.

The next day, Osiris worked up the guts to call Poseidon over to his place to ask for an apology and have a talk.  So he sat on pins and needles, waiting for the doorbell.

 _How am I gonna tell him?_ He thought.   _Having to bring up an ex in conversation is gonna be awkward enough on its own.  How can I tell him about this?_

Then, the doorbell rang and he sprung up. Taking a deep breath, he walked over and swung the door open.  Upon seeing Poseidon, his heart began to flutter wildly in his chest.  Poseidon was wearing ADIDAS flip flops, fitted jeans, and an ocean-blue Lacoste polo.  He was so beautiful.  Him and his glittering, Oscar-like jawline.  

 

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” He asked playfully.  Osiris nodded and motioned inside towards the living room.

 

Poseidon sat down at one end of the couch and Osiris dove directly at the opposite end.  Poseidon laughed and slid towards him.

 

“Stop!” Osiris yelped, holding his hands up.  “We really need to talk!”  

_This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening.  I cannot tell him this.  He can’t know._

Poseidon paused and stared at him quizzically.

“Okay...What's going on?”

_This is going to ruin our relationship and he won’t want me anymore.  I cannot tell him.  I need to make something up._

Osiris got up suddenly and sprinted into the kitchen.

“Want anything?” He called.  “Coffee? Hows that for a change, I serve the coffee instead? Haha.”

_That was so fake and forced what the hell am I doing.  I can’t tell him.  I really can’t tell him._

Poseidon followed him into the kitchen.  He leaned against the fall and crossed his arms.

“Osiris hun, if this relationship is going to work, we need to be open and honest with one another.”  Poseidon’s sweet, sugary voice echoed through Osiris’ ears.  He did not move a muscle.

_This is it.  I have to tell him.  He is going to be so disgusted._

“There’s...something I haven’t told you.  Something about me...” Osiris spoke slowly, trembling slightly.  Poseidon took a step closer.

“You can tell me.”

He took a deep breath.  “I--Uh, how much do you know about Egyptian mythology?”

Poseidon laughed.  “Dude, I don’t even know anything about Greek mythology.”

_He can be sort of oblivious sometimes.  I can’t believe I am going to tell him.  I am totally gonna regret this._

“So, there was one point where I got sort of, um, all cut up.  Into like, a billion pieces.” He felt a bit ill as he recalled the pain.

“Ouch.  Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

“Uh no, not quite.”  Osiris took a step away from his lover.  

_We probably won’t be lovers for much longer._

“Look, at the time of me getting cut up, I was with, uh, this girl, okay? Her name was Iris.  So after I got all cut up, she gathered my pieces and put me back together again...”

“I guess I owe her one,” Poseidon said with a wink.

_He won’t feel so grateful after this conversation is through!_

“Poseidon, when she put me back together, uh, she didn’t have like, everything.  I was missing something very important.”  Osiris was certain he was blushing.

Poseidon stared at him blankly.  “So what was it?”

“Something very important.” Osiris repeated.

Poseidon’s expression remained as vague as before. “What?”

Osiris broke down into sobs and tried to run out of the kitchen, but his boyfriend grabbed him in his strong, muscular arms.  

Poseidon looked him in the eyes.  “Was it your heart, my love?”

“What? My heart? What? No, that's...That isn't even...Poseidon, I would be dead without my heart."

"Oh."

"Its something that's kind of related to the heart though.  What I am really trying to say is that, since she couldn’t find it, Iris made me a new one out of gold.”

Poseidon was visibly upset.

_Oh crap he figured it out he doesn't want me anymore its totally over why did I tell him-_

“Osiris, I still have no idea what you’re talking about you need to be blunt.”  

With that, Osiris’ irritation at his boyfriend’s utter ignorance sent him into a rage.  

“SHE COULDN'T FIND MY PENIS SO NOW I HAVE ONE MADE OF GOLD THERE ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?” He began to sob uncontrollably, and Poseidon pulled him close.

“That explains so many things...” Poseidon murmured.

“Wait, what?”

“Uh, nevermind.  Osiris, I don’t care about that.  I love you for who you are.  Besides, that's still pretty easy for us to work around, isn't it?” He winked again.

“T-thank you.  I love you too.”

And then they did the do.

END

 

 


End file.
